The Greatness/Not so Greatness of Being Single

Being a 32 year old single woman in this world is an interesting thing to be. There are those that look at you and commend you for where you are, are proud that you are able to be independent and not settle on a guy just to be a part of a couple...then there are those that think that you must be lacking something, since you are not married and having children, I have actually had a person think that I must be gay because I'm not married--and that was about 4 years ago! (which FYI-I am not!)

I have always been one to be proud of where I am. I have a Master's degree, I have a great career, I own my home, I have a happy life full of great friends and supportive family. I have never felt like I was missing anything. Would I like to get married? Yes--but I am not willing to be with someone that isn't right, just to be with someone. Call it being too picky, but I'd rather be happy and single, than be in a relationship that is not all that I am looking for. Would I like to have children? Sure, if I am meant to. I'm really good either way. Just because I love kids and am good with them (I always have been) does not mean that I am finally ready to have children, and that I need to go to other means to have one, since I don't have a man in my life right now--which has actually been brought up to me a few times recently!

I understand the thought that people in couples have, "I am so happy with my family, then she must not be happy with her single life of just her and her dog." Their thoughts are typically because they love and care about you. So they try to "help" by making comments about how great a mom you would be, how you need to get out there and meet someone or that they know a great guy, or suggesting that you go to online dating, since clearly meeting someone in the conventional sense is not something that you have accomplished, or the worst yet...since I'm getting older and I must want children I should look into artificial means to get one--like I would ever chose to be a single mom!! It's never done out of malice or to hurt, yet those comments dig deeper than any person that has not experienced it, would ever know. They make you feel unworthy, less of a person, that all you have accomplished is worth nothing-unless you have a man next to you.

It is rare that I allow these comments to get to me...but recently, maybe because of the holiday season, people have taken it upon themselves to say these things to me--and with all of it stacked up, it hurt. It made me feel torn down and less of a person and not good enough. I take responsibility that I allowed it to effect me, yet I think that it's important that coupled off people realize what they are saying to those that are not coupled, and what those words do to those of us that are looking for the right guy to come along. I have friends that have settled, just because they needed to be with someone, they are now separated or in immensely unhappy relationships--this is not a place that I would want to be. Life is too short to settle.

So I will continue to be "picky". After the experiences in my life, I know what I'm looking for, I know the red flags, I know my deal breakers, I know what I can deal with and what I just don't want to deal with in a relationship. This is a good place to be. The right guy will come along, when I am ready and when he is ready...I know this because everything happens as it should, and when it is meant to be, it will be.