The Hardest Decision...But For All the Right Reasons

About 5 months ago, my pups, Haylee was diagnosed with kidney failure. One of the vets said it was time to put her down. I looked at Hays and said, I'm taking her home. Everyday since then she received IV treatments, special foods, and medication. It doesn't sound like much of a life...but if you saw how happy she was and how she acted just like she always did, you would have made the same decision.

Today, I came home from work to find what I have found for the past 10 and a half years. An excited dog, happy to see me. As the night wore on, it was time for Hays to get her treatment and medication. I put her pill in her mouth, and when I pulled my hand away it was covered in blood. I found that she had a massive nose bleed. I iced it, packed it...tried everything. Nothing would calm it down...blood was everywhere. I called an emergency vet hospital, and they said I should bring her in. This was a hard task, as I have recently had shoulder surgery, and couldn't left heavy things--and my parents that would have come over and helped are on vacation. But I did it, I got her in the car.

When I got to the hospital, they came out with a gurney, and placed Hays and her bed on to it. She was weary, but calm. She knew they were trying to help her. As it turns out, she had lost too much blood--since with her kidney failure, it wasn't making enough to begin with. I had a choice...do I put her through more tests, treatments, and hospital stays--which might have given her a week or two, or do I realize that it's time to let her go.

I couldn't make the decision, while talking to the doctor, my mom, or a good friend. I had to see her to make that decision. As soon as they brought her in to me, and I looked in her eyes...the spark, that lively Haylee spark was dimming. She no longer looked at me like, I want to play so let's go home. She looked at me like, I'm not well...help me. That's when I knew...it was time to do what was right for Hays. It was time to let her go.

We spent awhile together. I chatted about memories while I petted her head. My mom talked to her on speaker phone and told her that they all love her dearly, and that it would be ok. Hays reacted to her voice with perked up ears, and a bit of a smile. I told her how much she means to me, and that she will always be loved. As the doctor came back in, I held out my hand and said, "One last high five?" She took her weak paw and placed it in my hand.

It was a peaceful moment as she slipped away. I am glad that she was able to leave so peacefully. I would have hated it if she had to suffer. Coming home to my house, I feel so alone. I realized tonight that I have never truly lived alone...I had to put away all her things, since looking at them had me bursting into tears. It still feels like she's here. Like I'm going to hear the tapping of her claws on the wood floors any moment.

I am truly blessed to have had a dog like Hays come into my life. She saw me through some hard times and some amazing times. She was extremely smart and loving. She and I were connected, and that will never change.

Hays, Thank you for being the best dog anyone could ask for. You were truly a special, one of a kind friend. You will never be forgotten by anyone that you met. I will love you forever...you will always be my sweet Haylee Lou.

One of the last pictures taken of my sweet pups.

Rest in Peace, Haylee Lou.
November 19th, 1999-May 26th, 2010